Three Rivers, Tri-River, Tri-Valley, West Valley, Mountain Valley, Mountain View, Southwest, Northwest, Far West, PacWest, Big Sky, Sky-Em, Skyline, Greater Oregon, Old Oregon. From the Pacific Ocean to the Eastern Oregon high desert, from the Columbia River to the Southern Cascades, Oregon high schools compete in a maddening array of league and conference names across the six classifications. Almost all reflect the natural beauty of the state in which Oregon high school athletes participate.

Every regular district name is either a league or a conference, a distinction without a difference. Some are simple geographic references, such as Northwest League (2A), Northwest Oregon Conference (5A), Southwest Conference (6A), Midwestern Conference (5A), Eastern Oregon League (3A), Far West League (4A).

We have the 6A Metro League, which is self-explanatory. But with re-classification, we will see a new 5A district called the Greater Metro League, perhaps because “Suburban League” or “Commuter Conference” was a bit too accurate for comfort. Of course, using “greater” is nothing new, as the Greater Oregon League (4A) attests.

Oregon is renowned for its Pacific Ocean coast, mighty rivers, lush valleys, towering mountains and wide open desert. All of those features work their way into district names. We have the 6A Pacific Conference, which ironically does not contain any school within smelling distance of the Pacific Ocean itself. For that experience, one must travel to the Far West League (4A) or Cowapa League (4A), neither of which include ocean-like names (though Far West is a hint).

How about Valleys? The West Valley League (3A), Central Valley Conference (6A), and Valley 10 League (1A) each pay homage to Oregon’s western valleys. The Mid-Willamette Conference (5A) implies the valley, without expressly saying so. With reclassification, an old name comes back in the form of the Tri-Valley Conference (4A), a tribute to the former 3A Tri-Valley League. Of course, where there are valleys, there must be mountains, both individual peaks and named ranges.

The Mt. Hood Conference (6A) needs no explanation, nor does the Blue Mountain Conference (2A) or Southern Cascade League (2A). The Mountain West League (1A) and Mountain View Conference (2A) are a bit more generic, while the Intermountain Conference (5A) tries to accommodate all rocky peaks. Finally, the Mountain Valley League (1A) recognizes you can’t have one without the other.

It rains a lot in western Oregon. When that rain falls on the mountains, it rolls into the valleys, where it collects to form one of the state’s mighty rivers. The new Columbia River Conference sounds much better than “I-84 Cruise Control Conference.” The Three Rivers League (6A) sounds a lot like the Tri-River Conference (2A), though it’s not clear if we’re talking about the same three tri-rivers.

Western Oregon also has an image problem when it comes to wet, cloudy days. That’s not a problem outside the Willamette Valley, where the sky itself is often the featured attraction. The Big Sky League (1A) will never be associated with Max trains, buildings more than 30 stories tall or 44 inches of annual rain. Likewise, the Skyline Conference (4A), Skyline League (1A), the strangely named Sky-Em League (4A) and even the High Desert League (1A) evoke a sense of grand vistas uninhibited by windshield wipers working overtime during a crawling Banfield rush hour.

Some district names are truly unique, whether mundane or innovative. The Portland Interscholastic League will soon include all PIL schools together in a 6A-5A-4A hybrid. Of course, it helps to have a name that others can pronounce without embarrassment. A few years ago, a poor public address announcer in Portland introduced a school from the old 2A Wapiti League as from the “wah-PEE-tee” league, only to be loudly reminded, “It’s wah-pah-TYE”! So far, there have been no such gaffs since the change to “Blue Mountain.”

Finally, while it is very common for individual schools to be named after a famous person, there is only one regular district in Oregon that is named after an actual person or persons. The relatively new Lewis & Clark League (3A) seemed a bit awkward at first. But with nearly every league name reduced to an abbreviation or acronym, there is no doubt among 3A fans what L&C means.

So, have fun the rest of this season and next as you support your favorite teams, whether they play in the TRL, TRC, NWL, NWOC, WVL, MVC, MWC, MHC, SWC, CVC, IMC, GOL, OOL, HDL, SCL, EOL or ... a hybrid.